remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
