i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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