Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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