If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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