I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
