haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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