The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
