What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
