so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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