i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize