Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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