so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize