the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
