We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Damn victory sex feels great
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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