Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
