You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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