i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
