I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize