He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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