I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
