He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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