I smell stomach acid.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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