i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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