you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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