he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
