when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
a search helicopter?!
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
