So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
