I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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