One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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