2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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