We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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