I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
