so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
