Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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