he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
