I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
