i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I puked a lego.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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