We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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