I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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