I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
