My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we made out on top of his cat.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
