WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
