I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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