Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
