my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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