I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
