i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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