Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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