If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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