he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
