I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize