So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
