I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize