I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
