the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She's the barista slut.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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