I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
