Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
barbara walters just said penis...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
