YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
